If you’re looking to become Fresno State’s next head football coach, don’t worry, you’ll only be required to use math for up to a couple hours each day.
And as long as you can lift up to 100 pounds, you’re golden.
Beware, though, up to four hours each day will be spent repetitively using your hands and arms.
Perhaps if you flap them fast enough you’ll take to the skies.
These requirements, and much more, are part of what Fresno State is seeking in the right candidate to lead the football program to greater heights after Kalen DeBoer departed for Washington.
As is policy for public universities, Fresno State posted the job description for head football coach earlier this week.
The salary is “competitive and negotiable,” and the coach will receive a comprehensive benefit package including, medical, dental and vision plans and membership in the California Public Employees Retirement System.
If the benefits haven’t piqued your interest, Fresno State will also provide 14 paid holidays every year to the next head coach.
Before you all scramble to the online job portal to throw your name in the mix, Fresno State has set the following minimum education and experience requirements:
- Bachelor’s degree from a regionally accredited four-year institution
- Eight years of experience coaching collegiate football or equivalent NFL/professional football coaching experience
Fresno State would also prefer that you have your master’s degree as well as previous collegiate head coaching experience.
If you’re still with me, here’s where the job description gets interesting: the working environment checklist, which describes the most accurate extent of specific activities expected to be performed on a daily basis.
Along with your repetitive use of hands and arms, candidates will also need to be capable of repetitively using their legs for three to four hours a day.
Other physical activities for that amount of time include sitting, standing and walking.
You’ll only have to bend over for up to two hours every day, though.
And if you’re averse to crawling, climbing, crouching, kneeling or balancing, you’re in luck as the head coach will not be expected to perform those acts on the regular.
Notably, hand-eye coordination is listed on the checklist but not marked if it is necessary or not for candidates. Come on Fresno State, you’ve got tons of potential coaches out there stressed about whether or not they’ll need hand-eye coordination on the job, give them an answer!
Walking on uneven ground is also part of the job. You just never know how bumpy the practice field will be on any given day.
Candidates will also be expected to drive cars, trucks, forklifts or other vehicles, but they will not have to carry around scientific equipment and machinery.
Moving on to mental effort, using math and calculations – as previously mentioned – will take up the least of the coach’s day at one to two hours.
However, literary skills are in a bit more demand as writing will be needed three to four hours each day.
All other mental skills – talking, working at various tempos, concentrating amid distractions, remembering names, remembering details, making decisions, working rapidly, examining and observing details and discriminating colors – will be required for over seven hours every day.
Fresno State’s listed environmental factors are quite interesting.
Three to four hours of the head coach’s day will be spent in dry conditions, while none will be in a humid environment. Fresno State also anticipates only three to four hours of each day will be spent in a hot environment.
Isn’t this Fresno we’re talking about? Shouldn’t hot and dry be pumped up to 24/7?
Besides the climate, coaches will not face any hazards, dirt, dust or odors, which leads me to a big question: how can Fresno State guarantee the lovely smells from the university cows won’t make their way west of Cedar Ave?
All in all, if you feel you meet the qualifications and are capable of performing all tasks Fresno State detailed for its head football coach position, feel free to submit your application to the university.
May the odds ever be in your favor.
